But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize