FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
