His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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