I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
