Apparently you make a good broom.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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