I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
