how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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