apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
should my penis look like a turkey
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
