I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
