i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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