Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
