There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
