Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She said her name was "party"
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
