I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
