That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have aggressive nipples.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
