The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
