So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
