It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
