On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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