so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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