angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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