Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
