hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
