he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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