I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
