She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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