his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
