OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
