gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
