im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
