I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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