you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
