The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
