i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize