Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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