Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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