so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
