But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
