please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
