I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
