Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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