my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
