You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can text with my tongue
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize