Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
