...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
