Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
