Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Jerry, you need to find god
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
