I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think your dad took our porno
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
