I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
