Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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