Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize