I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
