In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
