Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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