Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize