batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
