i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
vagina is talking i cant
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
