I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
