we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
