Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
