I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
