The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
