a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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