i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
