38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I have post one night stand depression
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