I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
