It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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