It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want to make out with him forever
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
