all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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