Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
