he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
