do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
