Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
