I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize