I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
