dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
