i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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