I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
