You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
