she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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